The Soft Rapping
by SpookyMarshmallow
Summary: Tamaki has caused the club to spiral into debt yet again, Kyoya finds a job babysitting an evil nine-year-old with a rabid fangirl for a cousin. Lots of OOCness, OCs, and things that make no sense. Crackfic! Rated T for mentions of death, to be safe. AU
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Okay, guys, this is my first fanfic-thing EVER. Now let me explain what's happening exactly (then it might make some sense): Kyoya Ootori is worried about the Club spiraling into dept because, as we all know, Tamaki's an idiot, and continually buys expensive things that are causing there piles of money to run low and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So anyway, Kyoya takes action and for some unknown reason gets a job babysitting my little demon of a cousin, Grace. Yeah, this takes place in a hospital, and this kinda happened in real life… I just took me out and put Kyoya in along with some OC's of friends and crap. LOTS AND LOTS OF OOC-NESS, READ IF YOU DARE! R&R (I'm pretty sure that means Read and Review… And reviews are good? CURSE MY NEW-NESS! D:), people, R&R!

* * *

There was a soft rapping against hospital room 208, the door creaked open to reveal half of a shifty-eyed face that poked around it. A few foot below it was another face, but this one was younger... Oh, so very much younger, of course this makes the first feel old, so I will shut up now. -There was a silence between the trio, an uncuttable si- never mind, small, screaming children just walked by. Well, anyway the three were silent. That's all that matters. The door flew open, smacking the wall with a loud thud that echoed down the hall. "Kyoya!", a very fangirlly voice squeed (much too loud for a hospital). Getting ready to glomp the poor teen, the annoying doppelganger beat her to it. "Toyota!", came a voice that made Toyota-Kyoya twitch... involuntarily. In an instant the thing attached itself, in other words, claming the raven's leg, "Hi!" The brunette's eyes narrowed at the red-haired nine year-old's action, grabbing her by the back of the shirt and flinging the unwanted child into the hospital room. Slamming the door close and barricading the door with a random pulled-out-of-nowhere chair. ""Sorry, that's Grace, my cousin... she's a demon, I swear. I'm sorry!", Dramatically, she hugged him, leaving his arms trapped useless at his sides. He wanted to pry the fangirl -rabid fangirl might I add- off him, but that was impossible. Releasing the unimpressed young man she grinned stupidly, "Thanks, Kyo-chan, it really means a lot to me that you'll watch this little red headed de-" Grace's mother was coming, "-adorable, angel! She's a joy y'know, and I can't stand to leave her with you. Promise you'll take good care of her, she means so much to m- Thank God, she's gone!" Kyoya raised an eyebrow and pushed his glasses up epically, saying nothing. "Bye-bye now.", the brunette turned and waved. "Wait... where do you think you're going, Katie was it?", the teen (perhaps the first time ever in his life) was puzzled. Flipping around Katie bared the same expression for a second before softening, "Oh yeah! Thanks Kyo-chan! I totally forgot!" Ripping the door open she took a run and go while yelling, "Im'ma comin' guys! To Canada!" And with that, she jumped out the window. Kyoya stood there for a second trying to comprehend what the crap had happened and what he might get himself into... 'The window's already broken... Maybe if I jump too, They'll let me go to Canada. It seems like fun-', he snapped himself away form the retarded thought that had somehow entered his incredible brain. "The stupid must be getting to me already. Sooner than later, I'll be in the same bucket as... Tamaki..." he muttered, stressing the name 'Tamaki' as if it hurt him to speak it, or it scared him out of his wits. It was both, truthfully.

The red head little girl inched awkwardly out of the room, closing the door behind her. Looking up at the much taller man, they locked gazes. They just stood there, Kyoya as sharp as a knife, Grace as sharp as... mayonnaise.

"Toyota-"

"Kyoya", he corrected, sighing slightly. "Can we go down to the gift shop?" What? He had just gotten here! There was no heckuva way to get him to go all the way back downstairs, "No." Grace whimpered loudly, catching the attention of many passers-by. "I said no.", Kyoya growled. He met this child not even five minutes ago... and he already hated her. "Please, let's go in.", he kneeled down to her level, "Alright?" Her eyes were welling up with frustrated tears. Kyoya bit his lip... Crap, she was gonna blow. "Fine. I'll take you, let me go in and meet everyone first." She came back to life then, "Hurry! Please?" Kyoya groaned, "I promise it won't go anywhere." As he went to walk toward the door labeled 208 something cold wrapped around his left hand. The sudden unexpected contact made him gasp. "Did I scare you?" the girl giggled tightening her grip, cutting of the circulation to his fingers. "Something like that.", A very annoyed Ootori muttered.

Making his way into a very crowded room 208, he introduced himself as he went along, to his surprise, everyone knew him by name. Must have been that Katie girl. In mid-conversation a sharp tug pulled him back a little, "Kyoya..." He had almost forgot all about little Gracie. He turned around looking down at the little girl that was blushing slightly as she tilted her head as best as she could to see him. He squatted down to her level, "Yes, What is it?" Grace fidgeted a bit, "Can you take me downstairs now, mister?" He stood back up, "Excuse me, everyone." Weaving his way back out into the hall, Kyoya realized that he kind of wanted to get a breather from the over-populated room, too. He Waited for the little one outside, she was out in a couple short minutes holding a pink wallet, "Can we go?" Kyoya was deep in thought by then, "... Huh? Oh, yes, of course, Grace." As they boarded the elevator Grace fiddled idly with her wallet. The elevator ride was short, this hospital only consisted of two floors. As the elevator stopped, the opening doors made a scratching sound. Grace complained, "That sound scares me!" The other passengers chuckled and smiled as they dispatched. Kyoya stared blankly at the little girl, praying for forgiveness for whatever sin he had committed to be forced into such a horrid punishment.

The gift shop was tiny, and quite pathetic. Nevertheless, Grace took about forty minutes to walk the shop. After finally persuading her to leave, Kyoya walked her back to the elevator, getting annoyed at how she made a move to copy each of his. 'How do the Hitachiin twins do this? You'd think it would get old, but I'm not her... twin, either. Thank Go-' Kyoya's thinking was cut short by a lady in the elevator, "Are you her older brother? You two sure do favor." Kyoya felt his lips part, this lady must be some telepathic guru or something, "No, ma'am... I'm just watching her." The lady nodded, "I thought so..." Kyoya blinked, "What?" But the telepath must've not heard him, since she hurried of the elevator as the doors opened. As soon as they were in the hallway Grace wined, "I'm thirsty!" She drew out thirsty, making it louder as she went along. "There's water in the room, or I can get you some at the nurses' station." Grace pouted, crossing her chubby arms, "I don't like water! It's nasty. I wanna go downstairs and get a drink!" Kyoya was getting annoyed again, and that blood type AB thing was kicking in, "Too bad, you'll live. I swear you won't dehydrate and waste away before supper." Grace was getting upset and stomped her foot, "I wanna go downstairs." Kyoya dropped down to her level, it seemed to be pretty effective... watching Nanny 911 with his older sister was paying off after all. "Grace," He kept his voice smooth and calm, "There are numerous sick people here that are trying to get well, and they really want you to be quiet so they can rest and go home to be with their families, alright?" She was quiet for a long time, "Like Aunt Sharon?" Kyoya couldn't help but smile, victory, sweet victory, he had done it, "Like Aunt Sharon."

Grace looked up at him, "I still wanna drink."


	2. Chapter 2

Kyoya couldn't help but sigh, "Well then, I believe I have no choice." Grace threw her hands up happily, tapping the 'up' button multiple times. Kyoya frowned,

"If you keep hitting that button, It'll shoot through the roof." Grace laughed, "You're so funny, Kyo-chan!" He grinned and gave a light chuckle before clearing his

throat and slapping on his usual straight expression.

Kyoya pulled a bill out of his wallet and stuck it into the machine. Why did he have to pay for Grace's crap, shouldn't that be her mother's job? "Well, what do

you want?" Grace pressed her face against the glass, "I think I want some orange juice." Pushing up his glasses, Kyoya inserted the dollar with little problems. Grace

sipped at the orange juice idly. "Senpai, can you buy me some food?" The raven didn't look down at her this time, "I don't see why not." Grace pushed her face against the glass enthusiastically.

"I want chips... I can't eat chocolate, it sucks."

"Fine."

Kyoya knew by the end of the day, he'd be broke. He was right.

"Kyo-chan!" Kyoya was about to come unglued at the much-too-fimiliar-to-only-hear-for-a-day call. "Kyoya-senpai!" There it was again... "Wait up, Senpai!" He turned around then, he couldn't take it anymore, "What is it now?"

"I'm hungry again."

"You ate at seven."

"What time is it now?"

"Nine thirty-seven."

Grace pouted, "Kyo-chan..."

"Why are you calling me Kyo-chan?"

"I heard Katie call you that."

"It means you're calling me a female."

Grace giggled, "Kyoya-senpai... you're a girl." Kyoya needed some one to talk to now, flipping out his phone he sent an emergency text to Tamaki: 'Help me.' A few seconds later Tamaki responded: 'Why, what's wrong? D:' Kyoya answered: 'I'm watching this little girl... I swear she's an oni.' (oni = demon in Japanese) Tamaki replied: 'LOLWUT' Kyoya explained in a few minutes of intense typing: 'She's annoying, obsessed with me, and she used all my money... and I'm hungry... D:' Tamaki texted back: 'xDD' Kyoya, out of desperation, sent: 'BUT SHE'S HUNGRY. I CAN'T GET HER TO SHUT UP.' Tamaki with that wonderful retard-brain of his suggested: 'Tell her to go and eat a rock or something.' Kyoya had to laugh out loud at that. "Kyoya, what's so funny?", Grace stood on her tip-toes trying to what exactly had caused the

teenager's outburst, but he raised his phone higher, much out of reach of the younger red head. "It's nothing, just a text message from a good friend of mine..."

Grace -being her nosey self- needed more information,

"What's your friend's name?"

"Tamaki."

"How old is he?"

"Sixteen."

"What does he look like?"

"Tamaki has blue-ish violet eyes and blonde hair..."

"How tall is he?"

This was getting old, "I'm guessing around six feet. I don't know, I'll be sure to measure him for you next we meet."

"H-", Grace started.

"Please, don't you have enough information? There's a few pictures of him on my laptop, okay? I'll show them to you later.", Kyoya wasn't impressed, not in the least.

"Grace?", Kyoya interrupted the girls coloring session a few hours later. "Yup?" It was going to be rough breaking the news to her, "I have to go home now, it's getting late. "Grace started wailing and sobbing dramatically, right in the middle of the hallway. Kyoya had to do something before that fat nurse -Bertha was it?- threatened to throw him out the window again if he didn't calm her down. Remembering that, Kyoya scrambled back down to her level and shushed her. He would have picked her up if she wasn't so heavy, compromising he whispered to her, "I'll be back in the morning, okay?" She sniffed, "Can I come with you?" Kyoya never felt so tempted to headwall in his life, "No." The wailing meltdown grew louder. Gracie's mother was strolling down the hallway heading for passing them, deaf to her child's cries. 'They don't care.', that was the answer to her melt-ish behavior. Why didn't Kyoya take the time to figure this out before? Trying desperately to flag down her mother: Failed. Horribly. A lot later than sooner, her Ga-Ga (Grandmother) came and took time to calm her down. Kyoya took the time to thank God that Bertha wasn't working.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I just realized how horribly these need to be rewrote! But ignore this, because these were wrote at the last of 2009/beginning of 2010 up until after chapter 6. Bear with me, please! This chapter is too short... Like all the other chapters I'M SO SORRY, here is where the OOC-ness and Things That Make No Sense take affect. The nonsense-ness is most likely caused by this being a somewhat true story. Yes, my grandmother was in the hospital with cancer, and yes that means Grace IS my evil cousin. I just replaced myself with poor, poor Kyoya, then in later chapters stuck myself and friends back in for insanity reasons.

* * *

Kyoya was in a peaceful mood that morning, at least until the thought of going to the hospital, staying in a hotel, and spending the next week or so with Grace popped back into existence. Like anyone after thinking that, he was immediately put back into a bad mood. There wasn't much of a rush to get back to the hospital; she has a mother, grandmother, grandfather, and countless aunts and cousins to watch her for pity's sake. After a forty-five minute shower, Kyoya wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed, but there was a child to watch. He wasn't sure about how he was going to get around the rule about hosts cannot hold jobs deal, but he was Kyoya Ootori, vice-president of Ouran Academy's Host Club, he would surely think of something.

As soon as Kyoya stepped of the elevator, he was attacked. Viciously. "Kyoya!" Grace clamped on to one of his legs causing him to skid into a half turn. "Grace, if I have to drag you like this into the room, I promise you I will." Grace grinned and laughed, "That would be fun!" Kyoya pushed his glasses back up, "I assure you, it will not be 'fun'." The blue-eyed red head pouted, "Can we at least try it?"

Kyoya made a move to rip the extra appendage of him, "Grace, please get off me... or I'm not ever going to take you downstairs again. Not for anything." You bet your lucky gym socks that girl had never let go of something so fast in all her short years of existence. She was going to cry again, Kyoya could tell, sighing he outstretched a hand to the girl, "Come on." she looked up shyly, after tracing Kyoya's arm down to the open hand she blushed and took it slowly.

Kyoya kept glancing down at the moping little girl, there was something wrong. She should have perked up at the holding hands-motion, but she didn't. 'If she doesn't cheer up soon, I'll just have to ask her. I have to admit, I'm a little afraid to ask, that is, if it causes her to break down again...' Kyoya thought, ignoring Grace's happy-rant about the store downstairs.

It was a tight squeeze with everyone in the room, but he was able to get into his usual spot on the painful fold-out-demon-chair. Curling up as tight as possible, to conserve room with his laptop sitting in his lap, he turned on some music and planned to sleep for a while, but all hopes of escape were shattered when Grace started poking him repeatedly, "Kyoya... Kyoya, wake up." Even though he wasn't asleep -he was close at least- Kyoya planned on 'playing dead' until the nine year-old got bored with him. After about a minute, he couldn't stand it and slowly he opened his eyes, blinking several times to focus on the girl who was not even an inch away from his face. Like any normal person, he jumped, "What do you want?" Grace still didn't seem too happy, she whispered, "Can I talk to you outside in the hall for a minute?" Kyoya blinked, dumbfounded, "Yes, of course."

"Did you notice that Aunt Sharon's thing had blood in it?", Grace seemed concerned. Kyoya looked up from cleaning his glasses, "I heard about it while I was dozing, but-" Grace butted in, "Is she dying, Kyoya? Please, Kyoya, tell me!" Kyoya motioned Grace to sit with him in the hall floor, "Listen, I was going to tell you sooner, but I didn't know... you do know she is dying, right?" Grace blinked, "Pa-pa told me that she was just sick..." He sighed, "She only has three to seven days left, it's bad. That s why everyone wants to talk alone with her." Grace looked upset and angry, "B-but, you told me things were just bad! You lied to me, Kyoya, you lied..."

The teen looked down, 'studying' the floor, "I'm sorry, I didn't know... if you knew or not, and it's not the best thing to blurt out..." Grace for one of the first times was serious, it was a miracle, "I hope it's seven days and not three..." 'I don't think she really got the point, does she thinks it's either three or seven days...?', Kyoya wondered. Grace seemed to put some thought into what she was going to say, "Senpai..." Kyoya looked back up from the floor, "Yes?" Grace sighed, "Can we go downstairs later?"

Kyoya stood in the gift shop talking to an elderly woman behind the counter. Grace was exploring the small store for the fifteenth time that day, along with the twenty dollars her aunt had given her. After the boring conversation with the half deaf lady, Kyoya stepped outside taking a seat. The chairs were much more comfortable than the ones up in the room... maybe the staff wouldn't mind if he took one -only one- upstairs with him...

Grace sulked out, still unhappy. "What's wrong, Grace? You've haven't been in a very good mood lately." Grace frowned, pulling up a chair beside him, "Just a little homesick, that's all." Kyoya sighed, pushing up his glasses, "That's all?" Grace had a mental break down, "My mom won't let me call Daddy! Every time I want to call him she tells me he's busy, how does she know what he's doing anyway?" Kyoya wished he hadn't said anything (I think the ice behind those glasses are melting!), "You can call him from my phone if you want..." Grace snapped into happy-mode, "Really, Senpai? Thanks-" Kyoya interrupted, "What kind of phone are you calling, might I ask?" Grace went straight-faced, "Home phone." (The ice froze again...) "No, I can't allow that." Grace was heartbroken.

Back upstairs Grace was complaining how she hadn't had anything to eat in less than an hour, "B-but Senpai, I'm hungry..." Kyoya finally thought of something to shut her up, and no, Tamaki, it's not anything close to feeding her rocks, "You know, your aunt Sharon hasn't eaten in three days. Think about how hungry she must be and she hasn't complained once." Grace was quiet, "Three days?" Kyoya rested his cheek on his palm, "Well, actually, almost four." Her eyes were wide with amazement and sympathy, "Wow..." The raven nodded, "Yes, but I don't think a little commoners food would hurt me." Grace stared at him for a moment, "Okay..." Kyoya stood up, "Let's go, the others might be hungry as well." Grace hopped up, "Okay!"

Deb, Pam, Jennifer, Steve, Drew, and of course Grace and Kyoya found themselves stretched across two booths at Burger King.

Kyoya was sitting across from Grace as she tried to talk him into wearing a BK crown with her. After twenty minutes of persuading he gave in, besides, he didn't know anyone in this town. After another fifteen minutes he was wrapping up another text-conversation with Tamaki. Thank God, Grace finally let him take off the crown and set him free for a few seconds, moving to an empty booth, he dialed Tamaki s number, who answered on the third ring. "Hello, newly dubbed burger-king of the Host Club!"

Kyoya shifted positions letting Grace into the Booth with him, "Who is it, Senpai?" Kyoya lifted the phone away from his mouth a little, "Tamaki." Grace leaned toward the phone, "Can I talk to him? Kyoya was getting annoyed, "We'll see, maybe in a few minutes." Tamaki butted in, "Now, you guys, don't fight over me! It's kinda awkward..." Grace tilted her head,  
"What did he say?" "Nothing."  
"Tell him I say hi."  
Kyoya interrupted one of Tamaki's stupid-rants, "Grace says hi." Tamaki was silent for a minute, "So that's who's talking in that annoying little voice in the background!" He chuckled, "Trust me, you can't miss it." Grace pouted, "What did he say? Miss what?" The raven replied, "Nothing."

Grace squealed, "Kitty!" Tamaki stopped his second rant for a simple, "What... the... crap..." Kyoya sighed, "A cat jumped up against the window." The blonde laughed, "Is that so?" Grace had her face pressed up against the glass, wiggling her finger, "Awww... You're a cute little girl, aren't you?" Kyoya interrupted her fangirling over the gender-mistaken cat, "That cat is male, Grace." The red-head snorted, "How do you know?" Tamaki could be heard on the other line laughing again, "Yeah, Kyoya-senpai, how do you know?" Kyoya snarled, "Shut up, Tamaki." Turning back to Grace he stammered, "I... I just know."

Tamaki and Kyoya were finishing their conversation when Grace asked once more, "Can I talk to him, Senpai?" Tamaki cooed, "How cute, Kyoya! she calls you her senpai!" Trying to keep his voice loud enough for his friend to understand him and low enough for Grace not to really pay much attention, he punished Tamaki, "Just for that, you going to talk to her." The blonde gasped dramatically, "B-but, Kyoya..." It was too late. The phone was already pressed against Grace's cheek.

"Hello? Tama-chan? .What? You're going back to Kyo-chan, I can't hear you." Kyoya, disappointed, took back his phone, "What did you tell her?" Tamaki sung his reply, "Nothing bad that would scar her for life, you motherly figure, you! I told her that I was eating pop-tarts. They're strawberry flavored... Commoner's food is so addictive!" Kyoya swiveled his phone away from his mouth, "He told you that he was eating pop-tarts." Grace paused, "Okay..."

Of course, throughout the rest of the day Kyoya took Grace down to the vending machines another thirty times, but after putting his foot down and telling her that he was not going to take her back downstairs until the morning, they were chillin' up in the room. Kyoya was curled back up in his spot on the futon-chair-thing, while Grace sat by his feet listening to her new i-Pod.

Kyoya was typing out God knows what to transfer into that mysterious black book he carries around. After finishing typing what could be plottings of our downfall, Kyoya slipped on some headphones as he went to work rearranging and organizing files on his computer, the music he was listening to was quite loud, he was hoping to block out the fifteen other voices in the room.

Grace poked him several times before getting is attention, "Kyo-chan, are you listing to music?" Kyoya nodded, "Yes." Grace looked at him with pleading eyes, "Can I listen, too?" Kyoya was emotionless, "I don't see why not." Grace asked him to scoot over, it was quite a squeeze with a nine year-old just about as heavy (or heavier, she s kind of fat) as he was. She didn't like most of the music he had, since it wasn't Michael Jackson, Elvis, or Taylor Swift, but she listened to it anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

After Grace was bored with music she noticed the suctioning NG bucket hanging like a prized deer head on the wall, "What is that?" Kyoya followed her pointing finger, "That is an NG tube, it suctions all the bile, food, and water off an individual's stomach. It is mostly used when a bowl obstruction is present, since you don't know what that is I might as well explain it now. A bowl obstruction is when a part of the intestines is cut off, not allowing anything to pass through. Because of this bile builds up, causing them to vomit bile, since it has nowhere left to go. The NG bucket is inserted down one of the nostrils, and is ran through the back of the throat, the esophagus, and into the stomach. It's main functions are to keep the person from having uncontrollable vomiting and to stop swelling from the bile building up. The bile comes in quite a variety of colors, but as you see it's brown right now, because she's drinking soda. As soon as it hits her stomach it's suctioned right back out. Make sense?"

Grace looked shocked, "How did you know that?" Kyoya shrugged, "My family runs several hospitals and health clinics, if I want to succeed my father, it's best to know as much about the medical field as I can." Grace nodded, "Oh, I see. I think I understand." tried to scoot away from the nine year-old, that was resting her head on his chest (so wrong), to no avail. Grace sighed, "It's still gross." Kyoya didn't say anything.

After about thirty minutes, a nurse came in with some kind of nausea medicine (Zofran). Once injected though the IV, it causes a burning sensation in the vain, some say it feels worse than a bee sting, Sharon was about to experience just that. The nurse was rubbing sanitizer on her hands as she entered, "Mrs. Sharon, I have your nausea medicine." She didn't say anything, since she was too busy dry-heaving over a bucket.

After the medication kicked in, she was out. She was asleep, with one eye open and the other half closed. Her breathing was slowing, while her hands where starting to turn blue. Everyone in the room was freaking out. Grace looked at Kyoya, "What's happening? Why are they all crying?" Kyoya took her by the hand as calmly as he could and lead her out the door. He didn't want her to see all this, she was so young. Too young. It shocked him that he cared. The Shadow King actually cared for some one. No flippin' way! Kyoya did have a soft spot for her, a very, very small soft spot.

After a few seconds in the hallway Grace repeated herself, "Senpai, what's happening?" Kyoya sighed, "It's bad." Grace blinked, confused, "What?" Kyoya didn't say anything, he didn't want to upset her. He took her down to the end of the hall where several empty chairs were waiting on them. Taking a seat Kyoya wasn't sure what to do, while he was thinking he watched Gace closely, dragging her out of other patient's rooms, and telling her to be quiet. While all this was happening two figures: a brunette and a raven, where watching through the windows behind them.

The brunette commanded, "Lorra, I know Destiny and I are heavy, but lift us a little higher!" Lorra answered, "I can't!" The brunette groaned, "Destiny can you?" Destiny piped, "Yes, Commander Katie!" Katie saluted down to her comrades, "Thank you! Madeline. Can you see what Kyoya's doing? There's a chair in my way."

Madeline, who was standing on Christy, who was being held by Kelcey, answered, "They are... whoa... that's one old lady! I mean she's like a raisin! Oh my God, she needs to wear better bras. She could stab some one with those! Holy crap... what is she doing? Is that a... Oh God my eyes! I can't believe she's doing that at that age! That's just... ewwwww-"

Katie, who looked completely scarred snapped, "A.D.D., stop get so distract- OMG, shiny!" Lorra yelled, "I'm surrounded by idiots!" Kelcey muttered, "You're not the only one, sister." Christy, who was trying to eat a bug that kept buzzing around her face, gasped, "Kelcey! Why didn't you tell me that you have a sister, who is Lorra!" Kelcey answered, "Because, I don't. Atleast I don't have a gay younger brother." Destiny and Madeline both said in unison, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now what?" Katie was about to fall off Destiny's shoulders from a bad case of the LOL-ATTACKS.

Lorra looked horrified, "La, la, la, la, la! I'm not listening! Blah, blah, blah, balh, fdwe gede ju fhe tweet-!" Yelling over Lorra's gibberish rampage, Christy stated the facts, "He is NOT gay. He's growing out his hair so he can be Inuyasha!" Madeline paused, "One: Lorra, shut up. Two, That IS gay." Christy replied, "Yeah... I know."

Kyoya pulled Grace out of the way of a Nurse, "Excuse us." The nurse smiled and nodded in his direction. Grace frowned, "I'm bored, Senpai," Kyoya shrugged, "When you volunteered to come on the trip here, to a hospital, did you stop and think, 'Hey, this is a building full of dying people, so I'm going to have to keep quiet, and won't be able to go out and do much.' or did you think, 'It's a hospital full of fun! People are dying, but whatever!', so?" Grace didn't respond.

Later on that night, about nine, they were heading out to the hotel. Kyoya was sharing a room (that they had snuck an air mattress in for him) with Steve, Deb, and Katie's parents, Bobby and Khristina. When he was informed that their room was connected with Grace's, he had a freak-fest. On the inside.

Kyoya stepped into the little room, Grace was behind him, "Kyo-chan, can you come and watch TV with me?" Kyoya looked over his shoulder at her, "Not to night, Gracie. I'm exhausted, so I'm going straight to bed tonight." Grace smiled, "Okay! We'll watch it later!" And with that, she pranced out the door.

Kyoya sighed with relief and plopped on one the beds. Katie's dad walked up to him, "She's running you ragged, isn't she?" Kyoya nodded, "I'd say so. Oh, and thank you for letting me stay with you. Bobby smiled at him, "You're welcome, hey, anything to keep you from sleeping with Grace, right? How about We'll take you to a nice lunch tomorrow, and give you a break from her?" Kyoya looked thankful, "Yes, I'd hate to see what she'd do for some one to sleep with me... Thank you."

After a hot shower and comfortable pajamas, Kyoya was more tired that he'd realized. But, then again, everyone was. He bedded down for the night along with everyone else. After a while, he still found himself awake, thinking. Soon, the others were soon snoring loudly. The teen sighed, digging his i-Pod out of his laptop bag that was sitting next to his make-shift bed, turning on some relaxing piano, laud enough to drown out the snoring, he soon fell asleep.

* * *

A/N: OH NOES! The OOCness kicked in! It might go away soon, maybe…. Fear me and my friends as Ocs! Yes, Christy's little brother, Steve, (his name is epic, I know) is actually growing out his hair to be Inuyasha.

God only knows what that elderly lady is doing.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Kyoya woke up early from the alarm that they had set for six thirty a.m., he groaned and rolled over. This was too early, way too early. Kyoya was not a morning person at all. He was the last person to get ready to leave, still tired and in a haze he followed being the others down to the free breakfast. He didn't eat anything, he wasn't that hungry, he was too sleepy to be hungry. Instead, he sat at a table and got out his laptop, checking his email and things as such.

Once at the hospital, Kyoya was a little more alert. Grace hadn't gotten there yet, so he had about thirty minutes to himself. That was pure awesomeness. Laptop in hand, he crept into room 208, unknowing of what he would find. Sharon was laying in bed, sucking down water like usual. She could guzzle down about two gallons in an hour and a half! She grinned at him: 'That's good, she seems to be having a good day.' Kyoya sat down next to the bed for a minute, wishing her a good morning and whatnot. Kyoya sat back, planning to relax before 'work' began once the evil red-head showed up.

When Grace arrived, Kyoya was sure to tell her that he had brought no money. For her at least. Kyoya was ready for lunch already, it was only ten, though. He had around two hours to blow... with Gracie. He took her downstairs and let her romp around down there, she had a total spaz attack at the vending area, bouncing of the walls screaming, attacking the machines... "Grace, would you calm down?" The spazzing got worse, and Kyoya, thinks- THOUGHT Tamaki was a spaz, "Grace, don't make me throw you in a closet." But this statement wasn't Kyoya, who was standing in a corner, pushing up his glasses, waiting for the dangerous flailing to subside.

Grace stopped for a second, "Katie?" Busting epically through the automatic doors (you can't bust through them, they open for you when you're at least five feet away. In other words, she busted through AIR!) Katie beamed, "That is right, my minions! It is I, DA K-STER." Kyoya blinked, "I thought you were vacationing in Canada with some friends..." Katie stammered, flashing back on the time where Christy's brother got mistook for gay while spying at them through the windows, "Wha- Canada? What are you talking about, Kyoya? Take a chill pill, dude. I mean really, back off, dawg."

Kyoya looked totally out of place next to the spaz and the stupid, "What?" Giving him a sharp look back Katie grinned, "What?" Grace, being hyper, flopped on the space of floor betwen them and started doing the worm. Kyoya took his eyes off the wriggling, chubby child and placed them on the much to happy Katie, "What?" The brunette now looked genuinely confused, "No, really, WHAT THE CRA-"

Right then Madeline busted through the wall and snack machines, "HEY GUYS! WHATTAD I MISS?" Kyoya, even though startled, was not impressed, "Where do they come from?"

Destiny walked out of the men's restroom exclaiming, "I USED A URINE-ULL-THING." Christy calmly strolled out of the gift shop with an Inuyasha hat on, "Here I am."

Kelcey was sitting, disguised as a hobo reading a newspaper at one of the tables, "WAZZUP, PEEPS?" Lorra came in through the doors like a normal person, "I'm still surrounded by idiots."

Kyoya sighed, why him? Katie beamed epically still, surrounded by her stubble (New slang for friends?). Lorra crossed her arms, "I'm out." The brunette grabbed at her dramatically, "B-but, without your companionship, I don't know how I'll pull through this!" She pressed the back of her hand against her forehead and sunk pathetically to the floor, reminding Kyoya of Tamaki... on so many levels. SO MANY! Lorra sighed re-crossed her arms an took a seat at one of the tables. "Fine."

Springing up from the floor hands under chin in a fangirly-fashion. Lorra was glomped. "Oh, thank cheese!" Lorra arched an eyebrow at the clingy girl, "Cheese?" Katie hopped of her and looked around suspiciously, "I swear to you, I heard some..."

Kyoya had escaped out the main door calmly as ever, dragging Grace along with him to the elevator.

Katie was gazing off into space along with everyone else, "Wait..." she snapped back to reality, "Oh my GAWD, WHERE'S KYO-CHAN?" Madeline, flipped out her cell, about to call 911, only to be stopped by Lorra, "While your brains failed out, he drug Grace with him to the eleva-" Madeline fell to her knees, pounding the floor, "NO, GOD, WHY? We're too late..." She sobbed pathetically, after a few moments she stood up with a unimpressed expression and said flatly, "They're goners."

Katie gave her a 'what the crap' look before getting distracted by Christy trying to stop Destiny from licking the snack machine before her. Kelcey sat, eating the newspaper for yesterday that went along with the hobo disguise. Lorra sighed shaking her head, "Whatever, I'm going to go play Pok'emon."

Kyoya had only took a few steps out of the elevator when some one slammed into him.

"Wha-?"

"YOU'RE ALIVE! We thought Bertha got ya'!"

"Oh, it's you..."

"Was that supposed to offend me?"

"How?"

"I dunno. IT COULD... TO BERTHA."

Kyoya was disappointed, it was that clingy brunette again. He still had Grace seized by the arm, who was biting at a fly buzzing around her face, thrashing.

Dragging Grace, one arm a piece, back to her mother, she constantly squealed and wriggled, "LEMME GO. I gotta do stuuuufffffff..." Giving her a hard thump, the older cousin snarled, "Keep. It. DOWN!" Grace fell limp for a second. Staring blankly at the sneering face inches from her, she flailed, "I DUN WANNA."

Kyoya watched in interest, taking mental notes, as she sneered again, "You will do as I tell you." Grace wriggled in Kyoya's grip, only causing him to tighten it, "... Mmmhhhhhhehh..." Kyoya recognized that whimper and readied himself for the tantrum that would follow, "I would stop that if I were you, you're only making it worse." Katie snorted, "Yeah, and your death grip on her is really helping, too." Grace whimpered again, the raven continued to drag her towards her mother desperately, "It would be very nice if you were to help."

The brunette looked up for a moment, "Whatevers..." Grabbing the child by the feet she carried her much like movers carry a large box, while Kyoya had her hands. This made Grace freak even more, "PUT ME DOWN!" Kyoya sighed, "I'm no expert... but isn't this... against the law, or something?" The mischievous teen's uncovered eye flashed, for the other was hidden under a thick layer of neatly brushed bangs, "My dear Kyoya-senpai... Of course- I dunno, probably. There was that one lady on Opera..." She trailed off trying to remember her forever unfinished sentence.

A/N: UGH. This needs to be rewrote! But, I finally got around to typing the last chapter today! It's super short, but I think it's my favorite…


	6. Chapter 6

The long hallway gave way, revealing Grace's mother laughing loudly along with the others. Dropping the child in unison with the hyper girl, Kyoya tried to explain but was cut off, "Kyo-chan took her downstairs and she was calm as could be in the elevator, but as soon as they entered the vending area, she went all... spazzy. And now she's over there havin' a melt down."

Kyoya didn't realize the helpless wails coming from the corner, and as her 'babysitter' her had to comfort her. On the short walk over to the sobbing child, he thought of all the ways that he could punish the other hosts, mainly Tamaki. This was their fault after all, if they weren't so expensive… Even with all their money, the Club was still deep in debt, and this was the only job Kyoya could find right away. They would pay... oh, how they would pay.

He stood in front of the over dramatic red-headed demon for a few moments, then turned on his heels and walked back to the brunette. About that time Katie was mentioning something along the lines of: "Are you sure she's not pregnant, 'cause she 'a' moodswingin'."

Grace skidded to a halt in-between everyone yelling good and loud for all to hear, "I CAN'T HELP IT, I'M GOING THROUGH PURBERTY!" Everyone had to laugh at the epic statement the nine year-old had just exclaimed, which was now echoing down the hall way.

She then stormed off, crying all the while. Jennifer made no move to comfort her, "Yeah, well, she does have some problems..." Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Katie...? When did you get here?" Kyoya slowly turned his gaze to the stuttering teen wishing that she could blow away in the wind. Suddenly, she regained her cool, crossing her arms she breezed out an excuse, "Well, about that- HEY, LOOK, A MONKEY!" Everyone flipped around following her finger: nothing. When they returned to her: nothing.

The window down the hall was broken, pieces of glass falling off every now and then. Kyoya sighed, he was alone in this again. Not that the odd girl's stupidity made her count as much of a so called 'person'.

Grace could be heard wailing STILL down the hallway. Kyoya scowled, why did he have to jump out in the middle of all this?

'I almost forgot about lunch.' Kyoya checked his watch after saying a little prayer about 'please, God, let it be twelve already' silently to himself. Eleven o'-two. Crap. Finding this as a perfect moment to escape, he started off toward room 208. Then something collided with the teens legs, wrapping around them protectively. He caught himself, though, the impact almost forced him to fall flat.

Steading himself, Kyoya glared down at the sniffling child, "Grace, really? Must you do this?" Grace wimpered, "B-but I love you..." Kyoya needed a crowbar... and fast, before one of those giggling blonde nurses had to saw his legs off. "Grace, I'm starting to wonder that do you love: me, or my legs?"

Grace was nibbling his pants leg like the sewer rat she was, "Senpai, guess what?" Kyoya slumped, sighing, "What...?" Grace whispered low, "You can't laugh, okay?" Kyoya's arms crossed, "I assure you, I won't." Grace climbed up him in a Honey-like fashion. Kyoya muttered, "Looks like I've found my lovely item." He could picture Tamaki flailing at him, 'WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME!'. Grace broke his train of thought, "You'll probably never believe this... but I... I have ADD."

Kyoya almost laughed out loud. Trying to looked completely shocked, he stammered, "N-no way... you're kidding, right?" Grace grinned, showing her missing teeth, "Nope."

Clearing his throat, he glared at the 'thing' sitting on his shoulders. Good God, if he didn't get her off soon, they would probably fall off... poor, poor, shoulder-less Kyoya. "Off. Now." Grace whined, "Fiiinnnnneeeeeeeeeeee... BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME TO THE GIFT SHOP!"


	7. Chapter 7

Kyoya sighed standing outside the gift shop watching Grace and thinking about how much fun it must be for Katie and her friends to skip out on this and go to Canada. Checking his cell phone for what seemed to be the fiftieth time the raven sighed; 11:27, so close but so far from his promised lunch.

Grace bounced out and latched herself onto her sitter's leg, "Kyo-chhaaannnnn..."

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry."

How much could one nine year-old eat? "Of course you are, Grace."

* * *

Finally time had passed and now our hero was seated across from his employers parents, peering at a plate of undistinguishable commoners' food. "You don't have to watch her you know." Kyoya peered up at Katie's father. "I'm getting paid to do so." Her parents exchanged glances, "By who?"

"You're daughter."

"Ahhhh... So that's where she went..."

However that told him where his missing daughter was, or how he hadn't noticed that his own daughter was missing will remain unknown to the rest of mankind for the rest of how ever long mankind makes it on this planet, but it did prove one thing, other than this being a run-on sentence, that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

* * *

Reluctantly, Kyoya returned to room 208, settling down beside the window, Grace joined his side in a matter of seconds, "You wanna play i-Spy?" The raven shrugged slightly, "I don't mind."

After a few minutes, the already boring game was getting even more boring, if possible. Kyoya was trying to redirect his attention on Sharon telling Mary off in the background and was able to catch one of the most entertain exchanging of words he would ever hear: "You tell that old devil to go away."

"No, Mary, YOU tell that old devil to go away!"

But, right then the ever-so-faithful brunette burst through the door, ripping it off it's hinges, and causing it fall onto Mary, crushing the life out of her. Amazingly, no one answered to her strangled help me's... I wonder why (Please insert sarcasm here.)? Strutting across the fallen door she sighed, "Kyoya, you're free to go, Grace'll be leaving soon."

"How do you know?"

Katie grinned, "Because, we're all obviously in a fanfic, written by me! AND WHAT I SAY GOES! Don't question it, Senpai, just embrace it!"

The baffled teen blinked to show that he was rather confused, "Now, aren't you going to pay me?"

"Yes." Her grin faded, but returned when she pulled something out of her pocket and thrusted it toward the raven. "Katie, this is gum."

"Why yes it is, my friend! Used gum, I might add! But, flip it over if you please." He did as he was told, and much to his surprise a shiny 2007 penny was stuck to the back. He shifted his gaze from the beaming girl, to the shiny penny, and then back again.

The silence was broken randomly by the continents of the hospital bed: "Amen! Sweet Jesus!" The forgotten Grace bounded in out of nowhere, "Is she seeing Jesus? SHE'S SEEING JESUS, EVERYONE, OH MY GOD, SHE'S DYING, SHE'S SEEING JEEEESSSUUSSSSSS!" The brunette narrowed her eyes, "What? No... WAIT WHAT?"

* * *

A/N: Finally! The last chapter! I'm so proud of myself for sloppily finishing this. I took all my ideas that were left and took my favorites and stuck them in here. It's a bit crack-ish, but at least it's done!

I DO NOT OWN OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB OR IT'S CHARACTERS.

I SUPPOSE I COULD SAY I OWN EVERY ONE ELSE AS OC'S, BUT THEY'RE ALL REAL PEOPLE…


End file.
